


the flowers of limbo

by empressofcali



Series: The Graveyard [1]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Abandoned Work - Unfinished and Discontinued, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Child Soldiers, Dark, Existentialism, Gen, Haruno Sakura is So Done, Haruno Sakura-centric, Hatake Kakashi is a Bad Teacher, Immortality, POV Second Person, Symbolism, Temporary Character Death, including context in the story for accessibility did not fit with the style, knowledge of Naruto's plot is sadly necessary to understand this, rating for blood and themes not anything sexual, sorry y'all
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-03
Updated: 2021-03-03
Packaged: 2021-03-16 11:13:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,282
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29699688
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/empressofcali/pseuds/empressofcali
Summary: Haruno Sakura is too integral to the fate of the world for the Sage of Six Paths to allow her to die before her time. Unfortunately she finds this out the hard way.
Relationships: Haruno Sakura & Ootsutsuki Hagoromo
Series: The Graveyard [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2191491
Comments: 1
Kudos: 43





	1. deutzia gracilis

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> slender deutzia (deutzia gracilis): a dense, rounded shrub with slender arching stems. tiny, fragrant, bell-shaped white flowers appear in numerous loose racemes.  
> meaning(s): rebirth, new beginnings.

The first time you die, you are five years old and the most dangerous combination of naive and curious. You've wandered away from your babysitter and into the forest, walking aimlessly until you find yourself at the edge of a waterfall along the local river. As you lean forward to take a closer look, your pink sandals slip on the wet rock. You fall. The sound your neck makes when you hit the ground reminds you of the snap of a celery stick before everything goes black.

When you open your eyes you are sitting in a field of flowers that reach as far as you can see, clusters of bell-shaped white on stems of green, the sky pale and empty of a sun but somehow still bathing you in light. There is an old man in a long robe crouched down to your eye level. He tells you that he's sorry but he can't let you enter the Pure Lands yet, so he's going to heal you and send you back to your body. He asks that you keep him a secret because it would be dangerous if other people knew he was looking out for you.

You nod and say thank you and scramble to your feet before bowing a little deeper than your mama says you should when meeting a noble, because he's surely some sort of kami and they're even more important than the Daimyo. With one last apology the old man lays his hand on your forehead, and you find yourself sliding into the dark once again.

When you wake at the bottom of the waterfall you can still smell the scent of petals, fading quickly as a breeze ruffles your hair. Your dress is dirty but your neck isn't bent weirdly anymore, which you're pretty sure it was when it made that snapping sound, so you think the man was telling the truth when he said he brought you back to life.

You don't say anything about it when you get back home even though your mama and papa always said to tell them if something bad happens, because a kami probably outranks your parents too. You also stay silent because without any proof you don't think they would believe you. They thought you were lying when you said Ami was calling you names, so why would they think you were telling the truth about this?

That evening your fumbling fingers close your window so tight you nearly break the latch. Your bedroom is on the third floor and you used to love the view but now all you can imagine is slipping and tumbling through the opening to meet the concrete with that sickening sound. You squeeze your eyes shut while curled up under your covers, and that night your dreams are filled with the sound of running water meeting rock and snap-snap-snaps.

The next day you're asking to enroll in the shinobi academy. After all, ninjas jump across rooftops and between trees a lot but you've never seen one fall, and you don't  _ ever _ want to fall again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This first chapter is meant to establish the premise and themes, therefore I'm not very bothered by it's short length. The rest would have been longer as I delved into the plot. It's not detailed, and neither is this story-- nothing like what SSG will be if I ever finish it-- but I'm still happy with the prose and the way I weave the concept into canon.


	2. petunia bravo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> petunia (petunia bravo): a plant that produces showy, funnel-shaped, single or double flowers that are sweetly perfumed. veins appear throughout their petals and they come in colors such as lavender, blue, and purple.  
> meaning(s): resentment, anger, desire.

The second time you die, you are twelve years old and have almost forgotten what it's like to not be angry. Team 7 wasn't ready for this test, or at the very least you weren't. But Hatake-sensei was so eager to get rid of his students that he'd rather you just die and become the responsibility of the Pure Lands, at least that's your current theory on what he thinks. Why else would he take this team on dangerous missions but barely teach anything, especially not to you?

Orochimaru is a name you were familiar with before, but you're never going to forget it now. Not after he summoned a snake ten times your size to swallow Naruto whole. Not after he crawled out of that woman's skin, licking his lips and talking about Sasuke's eyes. Not after he killed you with a casual backhand that sent you flying into a tree so hard you broke your skull.

_ At least it was quick, _ you think as you open your eyes to a pale sky you'd hoped to never see again. This time you pull yourself to your feet slowly, fingers brushing against white-veined blue petals as you examine the flowers that surround you.  _ The same rich hue as mother's favorite dress, _ you think distantly before you pull your gaze away to glance upwards.

The old man doesn't crouch down to your level anymore, instead just tilting his head down at your smaller form. You are respectful when you ask him if he's bringing you back to life once again, heartbeat racing but mask firm as you bow low.

The politeness causes a small upturn of the man's lips. He asks you to call him Hagoromo-san, deeming the term Kami-sama unnecessary, before his face falls. You know what he is going to say before he opens his mouth, a sorrowful apology swiftly undercut by the following sentence. It is apparently still not yet your time, and there is more you are destined to do.

You nod in acknowledgement of his words, straightening your shoulders and lifting your head in anticipation. There is something fierce blooming in your heart, sharp and fiery and spiteful. You are going to save your stupid teammates and finish that stupid test and show this stupid world that you have  _ worth.  _ The last thing you remember is Hagoromo once again laying his hand upon your forehead before you wake, cheek beginning to bruise in four aching points but your skull blessedly intact.

In the sequence of events that follow in the Forest of Death, only a few things remain in your mind with clarity. The burn of your muscles from being pushed too far. The sound a blade makes as it cuts through hair. The lines of the seal on your teammate's neck like stark veins on soft petals. You have fallen into a haze of exhaustion and determination in equal amounts, tinged by resentment and fear. And then suddenly the world is thrown back into technicolor as you are being nudged by Naruto to walk forwards into an arena, standing across from a girl who was once your entire world.

The proctor steps backwards with a call to begin and a wave of his hand. Ino yells something about Sasuke and being rivals. You look at her and think: _She has never been marked as kunai fodder. She has_ **_never_** _had to die because no one cared enough._

Your lack of response throws the Yamanaka off guard as you leap forwards. She does not have a chance to use her famed clan jutsu in the match that follows, the strike of your limbs and slash of your kunai relentless as you wring the Academy Three for all they're worth. You can feel the imaginary gulf between you two grow with every moment of your passing silence, her taunts and comments falling flat, and you cannot find it in yourself to care. Because a boy might have been the reason you used back when you were young and petty and mean, but the real reason you ended your friendship with this girl is the fundamental lack of understanding she has about who you are beneath the skin. You are not a pet project to be pitied, and you are sick and tired of standing in someone else's shadow.

You may not be stronger than Ino, but you are smarter than her and have a viciousness written in your bones born of a thousand nightmares of rushing waterfalls soon to be joined by bony knuckles. The win feels hollow even as the stadium cheers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is it unfair that Sakura is centering most of the resentment for her death not on Orochimaru, the one who killed her, but instead Hatake, who set her up to be in the position at all (and beat that stupid mantra into her head about fighting against odds she cannot win for the sake of people she's been marked as less important than)? A little bit, yeah. But her sensei let her waltz off to her death, and that's not some missing-nin disposing of an obstacle towards his goal. That's personal.  
> Don't get me wrong, Sakura is terrified of Orochimaru down to her bones. But her fury is saved for Kakashi.

**Author's Note:**

> This is a concept I fell in love with ages ago, and while I got the first two chapters completed and polished my lack of an outline for the rest had me stumbling over where to take it. I figured I'd upload it anyways, in case anyone is interested in the idea.
> 
> I would have called the collection "xerochrysum bracteatum" if I ever turned this into a full series, with "flowers of limbo" as the main story and probably a side collection from other character's POVs. Sadly, this is almost certainly all you're going to get. So instead I'm putting it in the Graveyard.
> 
> -Mae


End file.
